If you know the Keeper of the Hollow, you know that he rarely moves along in any gear but first. His father once warned him that if he worked any slower he’d start going backwards. And so the preparations for the summer heat moved at a sloth’s comfortable pace. The nice lady on the ridge donated an old air conditioner to make the hollow workshop more hospitable for the inevitable seasonal temperatures to come.

A window location was decided upon and the unit placed there. The next morning, it was apparent that the air conditioner had not been adequately secured.

The Keeper of the Hollow and his fat yellow detective exchanged a puzzled look and the investigation began. Outside, Shrek noticed three plastic wrapped Little Debbie Oatmeal Pies in the tall weeds.

The Keeper of the Hollow and the yellow detective experienced simultaneous slow-motion epiphanies (this happens often). They raced (walked leisurely) around to the entrance of the workshop and looked on the workbench. The box of Little Debbie Oatmeal Pies placed there the day previous were gone. Their entire year’s supply of emergency rations stolen! Returning to the evidence in the tall weeds, a more thorough examination of the site was conducted. As seen in the photograph, the torn end flap of a Little Debbie box was found. An empty clear plastic wrapper was then found at the bottom of a woven wire fence. The burglars had apparently stopped for sustenance before climbing the fence and disappearing into the forest across the spring creek. The box has yet to be found.

While deeply mourning the loss of the oatmeal pies, work continued and the air conditioner was framed in with wood to be more secure. Clear plastic was used to cover the remainder of the window opening and allow testing of the newly acquired cooling unit.

The next morning the Keeper of the Hollow and the fat one again exchanged meaningful glances. Burgled again! This time the culprits had torn several holes in the clear plastic on the window to gain entry. At least the emergency rations had not yet been replaced.

“I need results, Shrek. I need hard evidence,” the Keeper of the Hollow mumbled as he searched for wire mesh with which to cover the window.

The fat yellow detective nodded though they both knew who the villains would be, they both knew who in the hollow especially loved Little Debbie Oatmeal Pies and operated with the precision of a military special operations team. Yes, it was the raccoons again. Not satisfied with night raids on the bird feeder, their activities were escalating and they wouldn’t be stopped until there was enough evidence from the crime lab for an arrest, trial and conviction. In the meantime, the wire mesh would have to hold strong.